*spilling a bit*


You love like noose and neck
Like rock, hard place and knuckle
Stuck in the limbo of unforgettable moments
when emotions under your skin fall crooked from your mouth
They fall like hollow promises and empty ring boxes
turning me into a makeshift punching bag with a heartbeat
Your angry chokes me into silence
Like stillborn children searching for their first breath
And ain’t no one here to hold me when you won’t
Besides, there’s no substitute for you anyway
This rib-type love is custom made to fit
because I was born for you
That’s why it hurts so much when you break me
When you detach self from our world
And just leave shadows in my arms
I always mistreat the shadows for your decisions
I try to leave them behind but they always follow me
making me remember you
And most times I know you’ll come back,
but it doesn’t make it hurt any less in
It doesn’t stop the blame that lurks in my thoughts
During times like this, I feel lost and alone
So, when you’re done being frustrated and mad at the world,
just come on home

P. S. I love you

#love #hurt #poetry #yeyodapoet #melanieyeyocarter #anticsofapoet #diaryofadayumpoet

Her flaws be precise in their imperfections
Heavy metal, juke joint sweet
Late nights laced with early morning flow
Tempting like Big Mama’s blues on a violin
tuned to hip hop
Corn liquor and wine intoxicating
She moves with sh*t talkin hips and
speaks with knives on her tongue
Her words are surgical
They have that “build you up”
then “tear you down” type of manner

Someone should’ve told you not to get use to her praises
See she’s a possessive lover
She will steal them when your heart is not paying attention
She will force compromise down your throat
with a fistful of promises that smell of burning skin
She will write love notes on your lips that feel
more like war stories and obituaries written by  super novas
They will leave open wounds in your emotions
All of her bullets will wear your name,
so her trigger finger will leave holes where hope should be

It would be easier if she hated you,
but she wants you enough to hurt you
to haunt you
to stay
to need
And you can’t leave her because her heavy metal
rocks you to your core
Her juke joint sweet and sh*t talkin hips
remind you of Shug Avery speaking about her father
And you keep telling yourself:
“My baby love me… She just don’t know it.”

But she knows how to commit crimes on your flesh
She knows how to make your moans sound like sirens
She knows how to make orgasms resemble murder
with the way she lays your body and soul down
Her stroke is a full clip playing tag with your mind
And spinning through the chambers of your heart
So she goes straight to your bloodstream
Addiction style

She’s the metaphor that is never written in poems
The verb that slips through your hands like ocean
She be reason and rhyme behind laughter, cries and makeup sex
A deferred dream attempting to find a place to exist in this chaos

So she be sittin gapped leg and letting her hair down in the juke joint of your spirit
Just so she ain’t got to carry the world on her shoulders all the time



ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

I found death at the tips
of your fingers
Laced in a box of forget-me-nots
with knots that strangled my sanctity
Bending me backwards into hell
with wings that resembled horns
And my flesh burned red
at your touch
Perhaps you could say my soul
was on fire
As you scorched me
Taunted me
Changed me into some form of prostitute
Gagging on the reflexes of your heart
Spitting up the emotional bastard seeds
you planted in my belly
Regurgitating madness to some insane rhythm
of hearts bombarding chests

And I never understood why

I could never understand what was so
catastrophic about you loving me
Even when I died for your sins
on a bed shaped like a crucifix
A crown of thorns adorning my logic
Nails piercing and transforming my feelings into
awkward positions
And I died for you every time you said
I love you and didn’t mean it
Every time you left the stench of
possibility on my flesh
Every time you split open my chest
And walked away when I needed you
But your concern shared a bed with
another
Leaving me alone in the lion’s den
to fend for myself
But I have never seen anyone win a battle
with love alone
Yet, apparently, you didn’t care
You watched me rot there
Insides poked and prodded like a crack addict
in the alley of the dead
You watched my tongue cripple
in tears
Folding around the words I couldn’t
bring myself to speak
You watched me in my weakest hour
Witnessed me being devoured
And not once did concern move you
to ask why
You murdered me from the inside out…
And watched me die

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED