HIV, The Black Woman & Her Decade

Here's to the black gurl from the middle of nowhere making a place for herself in this world. For the way she pull them smiles 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚍. 

➖She got some shit wit her➖

An energy that defies gravity and defining.
They just know that it's IT.

Some love it, some fear it, 
others despise it.
But,      they can't stop watching
as she sets the stage.

An animated still shot of 
survival and joy, sexuality and rage.

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

As I walk into a new decade living with HIV, there is no sadness. Today has been more like celebration coupled with transition. 

This past year has been a random collection of Ls and wins. But above it all is the death of my oldest brother, Ty, that happened almost 5 months ago. This grief has been a strange place. Strange because I always thought I would be the first of my siblings to go for a few reasons but being HIV-positive was at the top of the list. A noose around my neck smelling of strange and fruit.

But somewhere along the way, living became a priority. This happened while I  was already involved in my advocacy journey and standing on stages gift wrapping my insecurities for strangers to martyr. I was trying to save them when I had no idea how to save myself or if I actually WANTED to be saved. 

The change came suddenly and quietly. Survival no longer took precedent over living and thriving. They merged into a different type of growth and freedom. A flex, of sorts, that touched heart, mind, p'sy and soul. I hit a throttle with my  version of the Black Gurl 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨 on my tongue. And today I threw my head back in joy and released the laughter of a mad woman. A sound and emotion that's  been trapped in my chest for over a year now. Loosely translated, it sounds like: "𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝. 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚛. 𝙱𝚒𝚒𝚒𝚒𝚒𝚒𝚒𝚒𝚒𝚑 ." 

So, today ...
12.30.2020...  Here's to Black Gurl and her 10 years. A decade. Living HIV-positive.

I'm still kickin and screamin. Shit talkin to the sky. I'm UNDETECTABLE. I'm here. Jus A Brown-Black Gurl From Nowhere Doin Thangs. 

And I shall stay on thy necks and I shall continue to apply THAT PRESSURE. 

What a life... 🖤

➖Melanie YeYo Carter  ➖


#livingwithHIV #advocacy #KnowYourStatus #Undetectable #melanieyeyocarter #yeyodapoet #smallvictoriesofagiant #anticsofapoet #diaryofadayumpoet #theMYCmovement #RespectThaVibe