Side Bitch Blues

There's something you don't understand

Heartbreak let me know that she was my main bitch a long time ago 
That we were attached at the marrow of sorrow 
Bone blood ​
She let me know I was born in her womb and of her flesh on a dusty back road, 
in a back seat that smelled of liquor and burned out cigarettes 
That the litter on the back alleys of my mind was too sullied beautiful to ignore 
She had to sink her teeth in to taste my poison
I came to be after the devil ejaculated his seed in my 11 year old mentality 
and gave life to an unwanted monster I've nurtured with twisted affection ever since 
I died that day and came back with Heartbreak riding shotgun in my soul, but it was unknown 
so no one mourned my 9/11
My innocence suffered a twin tower affliction, but I smothered it with false confidence 
so no one would notice
My shadow was so convincing
I guess that’s why they didn’t go to war for me
Why I was courted and conquered by Heartbreak so easily 
I became my own warped version of a soldier with a chip on shoulder the size of Atlas 
Edges jagged enough to cut anyone within range to smell the fumes of my devastation 
See I've wanted to be with Love so long, and she's presented her self in many forms 
But they could never be faithful to this little black girl with a beehive in her chest
It took me years to realize that Love is just my side bitch
That's why she's always so temporary 
Fleeting like rolling stone fathers and a prostitute's fantasy of marriage vows
She allows me to give her priceless things like my time
She pretends she's going to stay then walks out on the heels of my lover with my pride 
Making me wonder why I keep trying 
See, I hate to call Love out of her name 
I know hoe is such a strong word, but she so freely gives herself to the undeserving 
And you know they say you can't turn a hoe into a house wife
Yet I've spent most of my life balancing her pedestal between my shoulder blades 
like the night sky cradles the moon
Waiting for Love to claim her position 
But who wants to play second or be a backup? 
Love must know that Heartbreak has my shit sewed up
And that bitch has never been one to play fair
She be blood in, blood out 
Apparently, a main bitch's role is to always stay down
Maybe that explains why she won't leave 
Perhaps Heartbreak knows there ain't nobody gone love to hate her
like me
​
#yeyodapoet #melanieyeyocarter #savage #anticsofapoet#diaryofadayumpoet #RESPECTMYTHICK